Qualities and non-qualities

My colleague Andrea has been reading a good book, and it gives some advice about how NOT to be in the workplace. Probably it fits with general life too. These are traits that they recommend not to express.

Is there anybody you know who shows some (of all) of these traits? If so, why not tell them? If you are not sure how to tell them, keep following this blog, and in the next few days I will share with you a formula for giving feedback to "that kind of person". Let's not accept people behaving like this.

Here are the first 10 points.

1. Winning too much. The need to won at all costs and in all situations - when it matters, when it doesn't and when it's totally beside the point.

2. Adding too much value. The overwhelming desire to add our two cents to every discussion.

3. Passing Judgement. The need to rate others and impose our standards on them.

4. Making destructive comments. The needless sarcasms and cutting remarks that we think make us sound sharp and witty.

5. Starting with "No", "But" or "However". The overuse of these negative qualifiers which secretly say to everyone "I'm right. You're wrong."

6. Telling the world how smart we are. The need to show people we're smarter than they think we are.

7. Speaking when angry. Using emotional volatility as a management tool.

8. Negativity, or "Let me explain why that won't work". The need to share our negative thoughts even when we were not asked.

9. Withholding information. The refusal to share information in order to maintain an advantage over others.

10. Failing to give proper recognition. The inability to praise and reward.

The rest follows in the next few days...

Social Work

Yesterday, we had all-staff meetings to explain what the status is of the proposal from management for re-location. Even though "only" around 230 roles are supposedly moving, over 600 people came to the two sessions. After a short presentation, we opened the floor for questions during which I passed the microphone around. The Q&A made me realise very clearly one of the impacts of the possible change for me personally. I am going to lose easy contact with a lot of people.

Around 20 people asked questions. I realised that over the years, I have had some kind of contact with almost all of those people. And as I looked around the conference centre, it hit me that I had met so many good people at my company - so many of the audience were close friends, good colleagues, people I have managed, or worked with on a project, or had a training course with, or run the Dam to Dam together with, or been in a Dragon Boat with, or just got talking to at the coffee machine.

Our office is a great place to build a life in a foreign country. There are around 50 nationalities in the building, and that means there are so many people with one common bond - they are all sharing the experience of taking a big step, moving to and living in a different country. As a result, friendships with work colleagues seem more possible than in other situations. I was never so close with colleagues in the UK.

My greatest luck and joy has been the people I worked with over the last 16 years. My two closest friends, Morten and Sonny, joined the same year as me (Sonny on the same day!) and other friendships with great people like Helena, Rogier, Bruce, Chantal, Hendrik, Evelyn & Andrea came from working together. These friendships of many years are the strongest legacy I will go away with if the move goes ahead. And I will miss the chance to make more such friendships - there will be other companies, but never a time or place or people like this.

I was especially lucky in the last 9 months. It was one of the hardest periods of my working life, but it was made so much better by working with Morten and Andrea - two of the best people I know, professionally and personally. Their character - positive, motivated, intelligent, funny, creative - has made working together feel like working with friends. Real social work.

Dreams and Hard Work

Hi, I sent this piece by email a while ago - apologies to those who have read it before.
______________________

I would like to share with you a filmclip that I have watched many times in the last 18 months. This is about having a dream, believing it, and doing whatever it takes to reach the dream.

About a year ago, I stood at the luggage arrival at Schiphol airport in Amsterdam, and heard a voice over my shoulder that I was sure I recognised. I turned and saw a short, plump, very slightly confident, but mainly shy English guy talking to a friend. I realised I had been watching him on my ipod just minutes before on the plane. His name is Paul Potts. Paul was on a talent show in England, called 'Britain's got Talent' and the filmclip clip I had seen was his audition at a pre-round before the full TV show. It is a fascinating piece.

He walked on stage, probably preceded by a Britney lookalike and followed by a Madonna or Beyonce impersonator. As the panel size him up, you can see them immediately think 'No...'. One of the judges asks 'Paul - what are you here for Paul?' with an element of 'what the hell are you doing here, Paul? Hardly Britney, are you?'

Paul looks them in the eye and, in perhaps the first proud moment in his life, answers the question calmly - 'To sing Opera'.

The camera switches to the judges' panel - once again they are seen to be thinking 'can't we get onto the next one? What about a GirlzOwn copy?'

Paul stares them down in twisted-tooth confidence. He is not a naturally attractive guy, let's face it. But he knows what is coming. He knows he is going to show them. Because he has done the work to prepare. And he has the talent. They are on the panel not because of talent, but because of reputation. But Paul is confident, despite his admission that confidence is a difficult thing for him. He has the look of an underdog about to bite. A look which the panel, self-absorbed, totally ignore.

The guy on the end (I have forgotten his name, no talent, judge, forgettable... - I just remember Paul Potts from this piece) says casually 'OK, ready when you are. ' and looks away, uninterested. Paul glances across to the music cue, again with surprising confidence. The familiar strains of 'Nessun Dorma' start up. Paul knows he has done the work, and it is his moment.

And he sings. Like Pavarotti and Caruso crossed. After 10 seconds, the crowd start to cheer. The panel wakes up. Hang on, I should have seen this one coming, I should have claimed this one!

Whenever I look at this clip of Paul Potts singing, I see years of hard work in seconds of brilliance. He looks like he is singing, shouting, 'I will show you. You think I am some short fat bloke lacking in talent, but I will show you.' And he does. Emphatic. He proves in 1 minute's singing that he has pure, breathtaking talent, based on hard work and belief, against all expectation.

The panel are incredible. They fight to claim the glory that should be Paul's (because they are the 'celebrity judges', surely they are the stars...?). Count the number of times they say 'I' in the moments after this amazing display of quality. 'I think...' But all can see through this. Paul Potts is the only star shining here.

His story is simple, but remarkable. He dreamed of singing Opera, and despite having a standard job selling phones in a shop in England, he spent 1000's of pounds and 100's of hours having lessons to learn to sing opera. He didn't look or sound like an opera singer. But his dream was to sing, to sing Opera, and he worked for years to get his chance. His moment came in this clip. All his dreams came to that one minute of singing. And you can see all of that work and belief in that one minute of singing.

The Epilogue is perfect. He won the Talent program on British TV, won a recording contract, and is hugely successful. I have seen Paul Potts Cd's selling in shops all over the world, and he has reached a level of success which is only surpassed by Pavarotti.

But this clip was the start of it all. It is the transformation of a man from one person - his life - to another - his dream. He didn't achieve it in a minute of singing. He achieved it after hour upon hour of hard work, waiting for his opportunity, believing it would come. When he had the chance, he showed them, and he is an inspiration for us all.

Watch the clip. And believe in dreams. And let's do the work to achieve them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k08yxu57NA

Ever use Powerpoint? Don't do it like this...

Quick post to all who use Powerpoint - this great clip seems funny but it is only too true...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cagxPlVqrtM

Relevant stuff - it's all about the Money

I saw a great documentary this weekend, called "Let's make Money". It is by an Austrian film-maker called Erwin Wagenhofer, and it's all about the world's money systems. He interviews some incredibly ruthless (and surprisingly candid) characters from the world's shadiest corners of the Money industry, and captures some dramatic contradictions which they cause.

The most bizarre is the 800 golf courses in Spain which have been created because apartments which are built next to a Golf course have a higher value. Maintaining these 800 golf courses takes enough water to supply a 20million person country. There are 10,000's of apartments built near them. But the apartments are empty - they have been sold as investments to foreigners, almost all of who do not live in them, keeping them for future sales at profitable prices. The documentary was made before the crash, so it would be interesting to know the value of those apartments now.

Most is in English, part is in German, but you don't need to speak German to get the picture. See the trailer at http://www.letsmakemoney.at/main.html.

Plane dreams & the virtues of travel in mid-career

My current favourite mind-jogging question is this. You're in the plane, it's going down, you have 3 minutes to think before the end (yes, cheerful, I know, but hear me out...). What is THE thing that you would make you think "if only I had done...!"?

Until recently, my answer has been "nothing - I have had a great life, and I can be happy". But in recent months, it has switched. I came with the answer "I wish I had taken 6 months off."

I have worked a total of almost 20 years since 1985 (with study 1987-1990). There are at least another 20 years to go (assuming no plane crashes...). So now seems like a good opportunity to take some time, refresh, review and think which direction I want to go in those next 20 years.

When I mentioned this to a valued advisor of mine recently, he said "be careful - this is not the time to be out of the job market". It's true that in the past this kind of a break from work would have marked you out as "unreliable". But I believed things have changed. To be fair to that advisor, he asked a relative, who is the Human Resources Director of a major company, what she thought of the idea of taking 6 months off. Her reply was this (her input is much appreciated).

I reckon anything goes nowadays. I just can't see a prospective employer turning him down because he wanted sometime to get away from the rat-race, having had the job pulled from under his feet - there'll be thousands like him. If he wants to take a break, why not? Isn't that an indication of someone who is not afraid to break away from the norm? Someone who doesn't slavishly follow the crowd? Seriously, it's not unusual now to see people with all sorts of breaks in their career, at any time during their career, and recruiters don't take this as a negative, no job is for life and neither are careers, thankfully. He'll get back into the job market.

My trusty advisor is re-assured, and I keep my mind open for what comes in the coming months.

Turning the pressure of "Re-Location" to a positive

It's now a full two weeks since I first heard the news of the possible re-location. I feel a cycle of emotions developing.

My first reaction was strength - "I can handle this, it is an opportunity to make a change." Then I spent a number of days feeling like a victim - "how dare they do this to me, it's not fair". Now I am at the stage of thinking "I need to work on myself to get through this situation".

Feeling strong is, I think, the defence mechanism. I felt out of control of the situation, so to take control, I said to myself that I would be the one to decide what happens next in my life. But this is a time of high emotion, and the size of the change began to hit me. Potential things like having to start a complete new set of colleagues in a new company, or the possibility of being without a job for some period, came into view, which brought me to the victim stage. It starts to feel unfair that I have to deal with all this, why can't I just carry on like I have been? Why am I being forced to change?

In the last couple of days I have started to work practically on the issue. First, I need to make sure I have my finances in order - yesterday was spent at home doing this and assessing my real expense. Every less Euro I spend in the next 6-8 months is a Euro more security in the coming period of uncertainty. Next, I need my mind and body in order to handle it and deal with the pressure. So I have changd my diet and started a proper exercise program.

Then you reflect and realise that these and other changes could have been made any time. Why now? If I am honest, I have been drifting for a long time, and have often asked myself "what am I waiting for? I want to make changes, why don't I do it?"

Maybe the answer is I had no pressure to do it. It's a horrible situation for many people. Each person has a different situation and issues to deal with. My way to do it is to use the pressure and make changes in my life to adapt to it, and be ready for whatever is thrown at me in the coming 12-18 months.

A Rebel at 40 again?

Some of us had the chance to see the fantastic Rebel at the Crea Muziekzaal on Saturday night. It felt like being 40 all over again.

In March last year, I threw a 40th birthday party at the same venue with the same band, and it was a total blast. Band was great, venue cosy and friendly, and the crowd that came were great fun.

Complete deja vu as we arrived 18 months on. It was like turning back the clock, with two exceptions - Rebel were even better than last time, and I had really got older (proven by one person who hadn't seen me since the last party and who didn't recognise me - later she said "you didn't have so much gray hair last time"...)

Best memories from the concert are; Joris Hekelaar giving a diamond performance of "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol (on my ipod 3 times per day since then); and watching my great friend Morten let his talents loose with his amazing Saxophone playing (not the end of his talents, by the way - he plays piano beautifully and has written songs in Dutch).

Go to You Tube (http://nl.youtube.com/results?search_query=rebel+at+crea&search_type=&aq=f) to see a few clips of their great performance.

Cycling and Politics

One of the most liberating aspects of the change in my professional life is that I can cycle to work. And it is a political decision.

For the last year, I have been putting on weight, and I have been advised by kroket-eating, beer drinking, slim-looking Dutch people that the solution is cycling to work. My response (defense?) was always "I can't - I have to wear a suit and tie to work, and I get sweaty after cycling 45 minutes. It's just not possible". And I carried on eating krokets, drinking beer and getting gradually fatter.

Now I feel no need to wear a suit. Suddenly, last week I made the decision and began to pack a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and a sweater into my bike bag and cycle to work in an old t-shirt and tracksuit.

This morning, a conversation with a colleague made me question why I had always felt the need to wear a suit and a tie? I realised I was making a political decision. I felt before that I needed to make a certain impression on those around me, and that as a part of the persuasion process to convince all that I am a person to have confidence in, I was relying on appearance to get the message across. Even on Fridays, when most people in our office dress down, I felt the urge to make a political statement by wearing bright red ties and black shirts.

A freeing part of finding that my job may come to an end is the total removal of political obligation. I am going to do my job in the coming months based on work, not image or presentation. It doesn't mean I won't wear a suit in my next job, or make that political decision in the future. It just means I want to find out what it feels like not to.

And I hope I will lose more than just the weight of obligation in the process.

First Thoughts on "Re-Location"

It's now almost 2 weeks since I heard that 233 roles in my company in Amsterdam are proposed to be "re-located" to London during first half of 2009 - including mine. Suddenly, the Credit Crunch got personal! Now that people have had a chance to absorb the news, feelings are running high as the reality hits. I have found that every person involved has a slightly different situation.

For some - who are not so rooted in the Netherlands - it is a great opportunity to experience a new country and move on to a new stage in their lives. For many others - especially many Dutch people - it is a situation which leaves them feeling they are without a job, as they have family/friends and roots here in Amsterdam, homes, schools etc. Amazingly, the 233 people involved are made up of 33 nationalities and of course many of the people moved to Amsterdam because of the Job.

The result is a huge amount of stress and emotion. Each day I hear new stories - for example, 2 people signed mortgages the night before the announcement. One guy just moved here, bought a house and a car, and now is looking at losing 1000's of Euros if he has to sell quickly and move to UK. Quite disastrous. I feel deeply for all those involved.

My own thoughts are different as, like everybody, I have a unique situation. Despite being English, a move to England is the last thing I want to do because I have been away for 11 years, and see myself spending most (if not all) of the rest of my life outside UK. It has been such an experience to work in Holland and Vienna in international companies, and I visited 41 countries in the years I worked in this company. UK is not an option I wanted to face. So I see the world opening up and an opportunity to do something totally different is ahead of me if I want to take it.

I am looking at other options in the company worldwide and also looking to see how I can use the time to improve myself. It is a good chance to take the pressure and use it to good effect, as this pushes me to re-assess my finances, employability and personal development.