Fear and Loathing in London

On arriving at Heathrow airport, 2 things caught my attention – the embarrassment of over-security, and the double embarrassment that corruption even exists in “good old Britain.”

The first is nothing new. Since 9/11 and subsequent bomb attacks in London, the security measures at UK airports have become increasingly tough. My flight was from Amsterdam via Heathrow to Edinburgh, and as we exited at Heathrow, I entered “Domestic Transfers”. They took my picture, stuck a barcode in my passport and pointed me through to Terminal 1. I was bemused to turn the corner and see a great long line of people waiting to go through security again. Hadn't I already done this in Schiphol? What chance was there for me to have acquired bombs, guns or explosive liquids since Holland? Precisely none.

I joined the queue, and watched as various people of ethnic origin had their bags double and triple scrutinised. There is definitely a nasty element to this and I have seen it before. Almost every single person I have seen to be stopped and questioned at English passport control has been of some kind of ethnic background. The semiotics are clear. Non-white = greater chance of being a terrorist.

There is a sign that says “you may be asked to remove your shoes”. Thank goodness, I thought, hopefully I won't have to. This is not just because I am concerned about the smell. There is something very simply humiliating about shoe removal – I've spoken to others about this and they all feel the same. But alas, just as I am about to walk through the archway scanner, a surly guard says “Stop! Take off your shoes!” Great.

Some small details become irritating too. Of course, boarding at Schiphol it was not possible to take water on board (a precaution I will never understand). So in-flight, I bought a bottle which I had not finished when we landed. But despite this potential terror tool being bought on the previous plane, I was not allowed to take it through to the next flight. Bizarre.

Now of course the logic is that the rule-makers have our best interests at heart and the security measures are for our own good. But unfortunately trust in the lawmakers in Britain has just hit an all-time low. On the British Midland flight they give a complimentary copy of the Daily Mail, and the newspaper is full of the latest scandal – members of parliament cheating on their expenses.

Many years ago I was given the stern advice at Canon Audio “if you want to cheat on your expenses, make sure you can retire on it”. It seems a number of British MP's have been trying to do just that. Every possible expense appears to have been stretched so that all kinds of laughable costs have been possible to claim.

Each day there is a new scandal, it seems, and the newspaper I read was simply full from front to back with details, editor's comment and satirical cartoons about the whole issue. Ridiculously, getting big tax benefits from owning a second home and charging all kinds of costs for furnishing it (1000's of pounds for lamps, etc.) are all technically legal, if not exactly ethical. What has developed is a network of knowledge amongst MP's about how to get the best out of the system.

If they are operating within the rules, it is hard not to feel sorry for some of the politicians who are being attacked. Until you remind yourself who makes the rules. And until you read that the entitlement to a second home – somehow understandable if you live 200 miles away from Westminster – has been used to enable a relative to live rent-free. Or you hear about the minister who claimed bills for his second home a year in advance and then reported a different home as his second. In explaining this, the minister apologised for “an inadvertent error”. I leave alone the various stories of a minister saying they looked forward to spending the expenses on “lots of booze” and the smutty story of an adult channel in a hotel being considered business expense.

The amazing thing about it is that British people have finally been faced with real corruption in their own country. The lawmakers have created rules for themselves and elasticated them so much as to gain massive benefits. In their favour, it is crazy how low the salary for a politician is in UK. Nevertheless, there are ethics. Spending taxpayers money on personal benefits is simply not on!

Before this seems like a rant on the defects of UK, I quickly add that as we wandered through Edinburgh, I was reminded what a fantastic city it is. Wherever you go there is something interesting, with monuments, ancient buildings, views of the castle, lovely parks and hidden streets. No doubt about it, there is a real charm about so many places all over the country, and that is a charm which I do miss. London as a city has a huge array of excitement to offer.

But the airport security is definitely prohibitive to visitors, and somehow a myth about British fairplay has been deflated by the recent revelations.